“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.” Joan Rivers (1935-)
“I don’t believe man is woman’s natural enemy. Perhaps his lawyer is.“ Shana Alexander
“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.”
Henny Youngman
I have to hand it to the Hulkster’s wife, Linda Bollea. She not only froze $7 million of his assets, but got just enough unfrozen to hold body and soul together for her divorce lawyer: $400,000. The lawyers and accountants had received $850,000 within the past year, but that was not nearly enough so they got a nice bailout just in time for the New Year. After all, she couldn’t be expected to pony up for her own fees on the $40,000 per month she was receiving in temporary alimony. And just what do you get for that money? A lawyer named A.J. Barranco who tells the world such nonsense as, “This case will be tried in court and we shall see a Smackdown!” What a genius. It’s no wonder The American Hero Kurt Angle settled his divorce easily last October.
When oh when do one’s hands stop being dirty? When all the Borax is used up, or do they ever get clean? “Out damn’d spot. Out I say.” As we all know, divorce is an equitable proceeding, and one cannot seek equity if one has unclean hands. For example, when a married guy gave a $60k engagement ring to some trollop, she got to break the engagement and keep the ring in spite of case law and statutory law to the contrary. Why? Because you cannot use the courts to enforce such an immoral promise. Lowe v. Quinn.[1] So what if a guy lies on his financial statement in his prior divorce just to cheat Wifey number one so he can share the fruits of his marriage with Wifey number 2? When divorce Numero Secundo goes sour, can Wifey number two use the “unclean hands” principle to prevent the husband from making premarital claims? After all, he swore he owned nothing in his prior divorce. According to the First Department, the spot came out, since hubby only just tried to cheat Wifey number one when he lied, and not Wifey number two. Therefore he can make inconsistent claims in this divorce and he can make a separate property claim. Why not? Rachimi v. Rachimi.[2]
Maybe it is just me, but many of the access (visitation) issues seem trivial beyond belief, and really have nothing to do with best interests of children. No one can tell me that it is better for children to return home at 6:00 p.m. on a Sunday versus 8:00 p.m., or that a child is harmed by going to a parent’s home at noon on Christmas versus 10:00 a.m. After all, Guy Richie and Madonna fought for Christmas access just last month in London. It therefore seems even sillier when an appellate court takes up these issues, as the Second Department just did in Gerson v. Gerson.[3] It seems mom was Catholic and Dad was Jewish, but so were my parents. The trial court affirmed a four year old stipulation giving specific weekend access, but directed that if Easter fell on Dad’s weekend, he had to bring the kiddies to church. They were after all Roman Catholic. That was not good enough, so mom appealed and the Second Department reversed, giving her access every Easter Sunday from 9:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. Being the jaundiced guy I am, I couldn’t help but notice that the attorney for mom was named Feldman, dad’s was named Cohen and three of the four judges deciding the matter were named Spolzino, Covello and Angiolillo. Couldn’t be, could it? Of course not.
There is a movement afoot to ignore disclosure requests in Family Court. Some people now take the position that a Family Court petition is a “special proceeding” that requires “leave of court” for disclosure. See CPLR §408. The Third Department recently decided a case that implies that leave of court is required except in certain cases. Matter of John H[4] was an Article 10-A permanency placement proceeding and the Third Department granted leave to hear this issue before a final determination. The law guardian sought to take the deposition of the case worker and the Department of Social Services of Greene County objected, claiming leave of court was required. The Third Department allowed the disclosure but only because there is a special section of Article 10 that states that the disclosure provisions of Article 31 of the CPLR relating to disclosure apply to Article 10 proceedings. Family Court Act §1038(d). Does it therefore follow that there is no disclosure absent court order in custody or support matters? That would be my conclusion, but the issue has not been directly addressed, at least not yet. I’m hanging my hat on this language from the decision: “Clearly, the specific provisions of Family Court Act article 10 override the general discovery limitations placed on special proceedings under CPLR 408.” Why say that if it didn’t matter?
Enough of these weighty issues. It is a new year, after all, and just in time is the news that Great Britain leads the world in promiscuity among major Western countries. Blimey.[5] Just beating out Germany and the Dutch, the Brits can finally overcome their recent World Cup failures with this Légion d’Honneur. We came in 6th, but if you count all the countries surveyed Finland beats them all. What else are you going to do if the sun doesn’t set for 73 consecutive days? Snowshoe? God bless the International Sexuality Description Project of Bradley University of Peoria, Illinois for giving us that gem.
Finally a word about another lost colleague, Howard Dimock “Farmer” Clayton who died last month. He was admitted to practice law in my birth year, and was a fine trial lawyer with Donohue and Bohl and later Bohl, Clayton, Komar and Della Rocca during my formative years. Always a gentleman, loved by juries and practitioners alike, and one of the few who could get away with wearing a bow tie to work, which he did every day. What more could one ask for in a life in law?
Happy New Year, or as they say in Finland, Onnellista uutta vuotta
[1] 27 N.Y.2nd 397 (1971)
[2] __ A.D.34d __ (1st Dept., December 11, 2008).
[3] __ A.D.3rd ___ (2nd Dept., December 9, 2008).
[4] __ A.D.3rd ___ ( November 20, 2008)
[5] You can read the whole report here:
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